


Four Times Joe Ippolito Saw Leslie Freeze Naked (and One Time the Feeling Was Mutual)

by misura



Category: Obnoxious Jerks - Stephen Manes
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 03:24:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>There were two things that occured to Joe Ippolito as he watched Leslie Freeze take off her shirt, and neither of them was that he was being a jerk.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Joe Ippolito Saw Leslie Freeze Naked (and One Time the Feeling Was Mutual)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [greenlily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenlily/gifts).



> You can probably show this story to your mother. Sorry about that. ;)

.01

There were two things that occured to Joe Ippolito as he watched Leslie take off her shirt, and neither of them was that he was being a jerk.

Clearly, he would not be doing this if she hadn't humiliated him first. This was just payback, was what it was. If she'd just kept her mouth shut, then, yes, he supposed this would be one of those things his parents felt he ought to be ashamed of himself for. He probably would not have done it, not because his parents would be right, but mostly because no matter what anyone might say, he was not a jerk.

The first thing that occured to him was that he should have planned this better. Sneaking into the girls' lockerroom had been a feat - the stuff of legends, but all good stories needed a punchline and Ippolito realized that he didn't have one. Going through all this planning just to jump out and shout 'ha!' seemed kind of lame. Super lame, in fact.

Being a girl, Leslie'd probably just shriek or yell or something. She'd run out of breath at some point, though, and that was the moment when he'd have to say something smart. Something funny. Something everyone would remember for the rest of the year.

Something way, way better than 'Nipple-ito', which was not at all smart or funny, even if way too many people seemed to think it was.

(And then Leslie's shirt was off, and he got just sort of dragged along, with most of the other guys, and he ended up shouting: "Hey, you! Freeze!" which was, he told himself, at least _sort of_ funny.)

(Even if he had to explain it about three dozen times before anyone else got it.)

 

.02

The second thing that had occured to him was that Leslie had really tiny boobs. Like, non-existent.

It wasn't as if she was the first girl he'd ever seen naked. True, all other naked girls he'd seen had been in magazines or on posters, but so what? Naked was naked - and all naked girls he'd seen until Leslie had had pretty big boobs. The kind of boobs a guy could fantasize about.

Looking at his favorite poster and comparing it to the memory of what Leslie had looked like, he'd almost begin to wonder if Leslie was a girl at all.

Sure, that girl on the poster didn't exactly look like any other girl at their school, but there were _some_ hot girls. He'd even talked to a few of them. He didn't really think any of them would ever show him her boobs, but, well, the dress code didn't keep them from wearing the kind of shirts that made it very clear what they'd got under it.

Kind of a shame none of _them_ had stuck him with that stupid nickname, now that he thought about it. Then, at least, he'd have gotten something worthwhile out of it, instead of just a peek at Leslie 'No Boobs' Freeze.

The worst of it was that nobody was talking anymore about how the whole incident anymore, even though they were still using that stupid nickname that was all her fault.

 

.03

Leslie's boobs didn't really look like they'd gotten any bigger over time. He supposed it might be the shirt, but probably not. Also, probably, he should be aiming his eyes a bit higher when he was talking to her. Like, at her face. With the not particularly friendly expression on it.

Not exactly the kind of pretty face you'd expect your best friend to go crazy about.

"Look," he said, "I'm not saying I wasn't a jerk back then."

"I notice you're not saying you _were_ a jerk," Leslie said. "Back then and still now."

Probably not a good time to crack a grammar joke and anyway, he supposed she wasn't exactly wrong. "Fine. I was a jerk. It was a stupid thing to do and I wish I hadn't done it."

"Great apology," Leslie said. "I can just feel the sincerity oozing out of the word 'sorry'."

He considered pointing out she hadn't exactly ever apologized to _him_ either. "I'm sorry I was a stupid jerk back then." There. He'd apologized and he was still standing and the world hadn't ended.

He also still wasn't sure if it was any kind of good idea for Leslie to join the Obnoxious Jerks, but that was really a different matter altogether.

 

.04

It wasn't much of a secret Frank and Leslie had been going out, but for some reason, he hadn't really been thinking about what that _meant_. Well, okay, maybe he'd thought about it a little bit. In a theoretical kind of way. Leslie was a girl, after all, and Frank was still his best friend.

Guys thought about that sort of stuff. It was a guy thing. Perfectly normal.

Thinking about it was hugely different from walking in on it, though. Or, if not exactly in on it, then at least in on either the before or the after.

"Um," Leslie said, which was much less of a reaction than he'd have expected, considering.

On the other hand, it kept the situation awkward. If she'd gotten angry, he could have gotten angry back (because it wasn't as if he'd _planned_ this) and then there'd have been yelling and it all would have sort of worked out in the long run, just the way it had before. Except faster.

As it was, he looked at her face really hard. "Nobody answered the door, but it was open, so I figured I could just come in and find you. Well, Frank."

"Well, now you'll know better next time." She was actually blushing, he noticed. She hadn't blushed in the locker room. She'd just kind of frozen.

He remembered thinking at the time that probably meant she hadn't really been all that embarrassed. "Sorry."

"Whoa, that was quick. Gets easier with practice, does it?" She managed a sort of smile. "I was headed for the bathroom?"

"Oh. Sure." As he moved aside, he almost said 'sorry' again but that might be overdoing it.

 

.01

"I'm not sure how I'm going to explain this to my parents," Frank said.

Joe hadn't really planned on even _mentioning_ the whole thing to his family, really - he felt it wasn't really any of their business until they wanted him to bring a date to the annual reunion or something like that. Which was going to be in about two months, but still.

"They've seen you wear a skirt," Leslie said.

"Exactly. They've seen me _wear_ a skirt. I didn't exactly have to do a whole lot of _talking_. And anyway, that was for a jerk-out, not for real."

"I don't think there's a rule about wearing a skirt, actually," Joe said. "That's just if you feel like a woman."

Leslie smirked. "I feel very much like a woman right now. Don't think I'll be wearing a skirt, though."

"Seconded."

"Jerk."

"That'll be twenty-seven cents plus taxes."


End file.
